What to Do When Pain Makes You Say, “I Hate My Life” - Finds.Life.Church

What to Do When Pain Makes You Say, “I Hate My Life”

by Shannon Morrison

I’ve always loved riding roller coasters. And for a thrill-seeker, what’s not to love? The speed! The exhilaration! One minute you’re climbing to the sky, and the next, you’re plummeting to the ground, hanging on for dear life. The uncertainty, the twists and turns, the propelled take-offs, and the abrupt stops—it all sounds so great—until you realize you aren’t on a roller coaster. This is your life. And you’re not even close to having fun. The ride you’re on has you so full of pain and fear that all you can think is: I hate my life.

For me, the roller coaster began a couple of years ago when my marriage ended suddenly and publicly. To make matters worse, I had several health issues, was underperforming at my job, and lived 1100 miles away from home. My circumstances felt out of my control, and I hated where life had taken me. Just like the roller coaster, I was all over the place. The twists and turns were making me sick, sick of my life.

My Life Was Out of My Control

Fortunately, I had one thing going for me, and that was my understanding that God was still with me! It was as if I felt Him nudging me to just let go and let Him lead. I finally acknowledged that I was completely incapable of fixing my life by myself, and I just needed to give up because my best efforts just seemed to make the roller coaster speed faster and faster.

So, I did it! I gave up!

I poured out my heart to God and permitted Him to do what He needed to in my life. I was no longer striving and trying to claw my way out of the pain. Instead, I allowed Jesus to calm me and sit with me in it. The funny thing is, the roller coaster ride didn’t end just because I decided to trust God. Some days I felt a clear path to healing, and other days I felt as if I’d made no progress at all. I learned that that’s okay; it’s just part of the process! The beauty was, I had someone on the ride with me. God gave me comfort and peace through all the twists and turns. We were in it together!

When we want to say, “I hate my life,” we need to remember:

  1. Jesus can truly calm our burdened hearts. In fact, He’s the only one who can truly heal us. We need to quiet our minds, pour out our hearts, and listen to what He wants to tell us through His Word. I meditated on Romans 8:28 daily, knowing that God was using it to heal me.
  2. The people we surround ourselves with make all the difference in how we see our pain. It is so important to surround yourself with people that encourage your faith. Surrounding ourselves with people who love Jesus can bring light to the darkness and help us see our circumstances more positively. And, I can’t stress enough how important it is to seek wise counsel when you’re feeling especially overwhelmed. A good, godly counselor can help you sort out your feelings and realize you might have more control over your circumstances than you even realized!
  3. We have to reframe our focus. If we constantly focus on our painful situation, it will consume us. Instead, use that energy to focus on someone else. You might not think you have much to offer, but you will be surprised at how God can use you even in your most difficult seasons. Do something that fills your tank and helps you remember that your circumstances are not all there is to this life.

Also, remember: It’s just a season. It won’t always be like this. Let Jesus show you who He is in this season because eventually, the ride will come to an end. Then, you can look back, catch your breath, and see how God has miraculously made something good out of a bad situation.