There I was, where I thought I’d never be, after 20 years of marriage. Maybe you’re there too? If you are, you’re probably just as shell-shocked and dumbfounded as I was. Sadly, my marriage ended in divorce. I thought we were doing everything we could to ensure it went the distance: church, friends, supportive family, marriage books, date nights, counseling, you name it. But my marriage ended anyway. I was shattered. And, if I’m honest, there were plenty of days where the thought of writing an article about marriage after divorce would’ve made me sick!
The more I talk to fellow divorcees, the more I come to realize that no one truly sees it coming, and no one truly wants it. The good news is it can often be avoided through open, honest (even if painful) conversations. The best news is that if both parties are willing to submit to Jesus, miracles can happen, even in the most painful betrayals. Pastor Craig often teaches that what may be grounds for divorce can also be viewed as grounds for forgiveness. Please don’t throw in the towel too soon!
But, no matter how much you want your marriage to work, it’s still not always possible to change your spouse’s mind. Without two people willing to do whatever it takes, sometimes divorce is impossible to stop. It’s like a freight train barrelling down the tracks, and when it passes, you’re left picking up the pieces of your life. That was my story.
There is still really good news at the end of the line, though. Believe it or not, there is still hope for a wonderful future and even a happy marriage after divorce. In fact, I believe that marriage after divorce can be sweeter and even more pure and holy than the first time you said “I do.” Why? Because marriage was invented by God, and He is the ultimate savior, redeemer, and restorer of all things broken. In case you hadn’t noticed, He’s into doing new things.
Sure, marriage after divorce is scary. Opening up to someone after being hurt is always scary at first. But without a little bit of vulnerability and risk, there really isn’t much of a chance of relationship, is there? I believe marriage is one of the few ways you can experience true sacrifice, laying your life down for your spouse in a beautiful mirroring of what Christ did for us on the cross.
Marriage, and yes, remarriage is incredible when God is in the center—when you’re willing to surrender to each other before Him. In the compelling story recorded in Genesis, we get to see God, the Creator, literally speak life into existence. And with the same breath, He uttered, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18 NIV I’m going to take God at His mighty word and believe that if we’re not meant to live alone, He can still bring us suitable helpers.