How to Quit Porn Addiction for Good - Finds.Life.Church

How to Quit Porn Addiction for Good

by finds.life

Whether you’re here wondering how to quit porn addiction for yourself or how to help someone you care about, we’re glad you’re here. You’re about to find some help. Below, you’ll find reasons to quit porn, clear steps for quitting, help with confessing an addiction, help with supporting someone who’s quitting, and prayers for quitting porn. 

First, Breathe 

Take a second to breathe in God’s peace. Then, breathe out some of the stress pornography may have caused in your life. As you consider God’s grace, say a simple prayer thanking God for His kindness in helping His people quit porn addiction forever—and find deep, lasting healing. 

Already Watched the Message?

If you’re here because you heard Pastor Craig’s message about how to quit porn addiction, that’s great. You’re going to find some more helpful ideas and next steps below. If you haven’t yet heard his message about how to quit porn, it’s a great place to start. Watch it or bookmark it to save and watch later.

How to Use This Guide

First, read through the whole thing from start to finish. You’re not going to remember everything, and even if you could remember it, it would be nearly impossible to put everything into practice on day one. So bookmark this guide or save it to your home screen, and use the links below to navigate to the sections you need most each time you return. These words are not a one-stop shop for quitting porn addiction forever, but they do point to the kinds of steps anyone can take to find freedom from pornography for good. 

Know the Reasons to Quit Porn

5 Steps to Stopping a Porn Addiction

4 Thoughts for Confession and Listening

7 Prayers for Quitting Porn

Know the Reasons to Quit Porn

Here are a few statements from some of our Life.Church family who’ve overcome a porn addiction. 

“My porn addiction made it feel like there was always some dark shadow hanging over me. I’d forget about it for a while, but then in the middle of some peaceful or happy moment, I’d remember, and it would steal my joy.”

“I was worried about bringing a porn addiction into a serious dating relationship.”

“I objectified and used people to satisfy my lustful desires rather than genuinely caring for them as people.”

“I learned the battle can’t be won alone and I have to constantly be vulnerable and allow people to spur me on in the process of recovering from the addiction.”

But you probably have plenty of your own reasons, right? 

Maybe your reasons are the men and women who are ensnared in human trafficking in order to meet the demands of the porn industry. Or maybe it’s the impact porn is having on your relationships. Or you’ve come to know the powerful grace of Jesus, and you just want to give Him your whole life. Or you’ve heard about how a pornography addiction can negatively impact the brain, diminish sex drive, impact sleep, and lead to anxious thoughts. Whether you’re the one experiencing addiction, or it’s someone you love, you might just be tired of the sexual, relational, and spiritual pain.

Whatever your reasons, it’s good to identify a few, truly value them, and thank God that His grace and power are strong enough to help you make good on them. 

5 Steps to Stopping a Porn Addiction for Good

1. The first step is the next step you take. If you were jogging down the road and saw a large bear standing on its hind legs, stopping would be your next step. You can apply this principle a few ways. Continuing to read through this guide is a first step. Choosing to take action based on something you read in this guide is another.

If you struggle with an addiction to porn, what is your normal first step toward it? It matters. Whatever that first step normally looks like, don’t take it. Go a different direction. Turn off your phone. Get a dumb phone for a while. Close your laptop. Disconnect the TV from the hotel wall. Cancel the subscription. Get rid of the movies. Trash the stash. Your first step matters. What is it?

Another great first step is praying Psalm 119:133.

2. Tell God and people.  If you ran into a bear on the road, wouldn’t you want help from the God who made it and some people who could help you get away from it? Tell God about how you want freedom from pornography and ask Him to give you help through people and resources. 

One of the many problems with porn is that it dehumanizes people. When you tell others about your struggles, it’s like fighting back. God knew we would need people to help us heal. It’s all over the Bible. 

In fact, God’s plan to heal the world came in the form of one of us—as Jesus. If porn seems like a problem in your life, and you’re not telling others about it, ask yourself, “Why?”

Is it because you think you’re a rare case? Statistics tell us, whether you’re male or female, Christian or not, struggling with porn is not rare. Consider telling a good friend of your gender who’s healthy in this area, a counselor, a LifeGroup leader, your family, or your spouse. If you’re not in a LifeGroup, find one online or in person today.

Here’s what one person from Life.Church experienced after telling others: 

“I started telling people. I realized lots of people, including my own brothers, struggled with this too.”

3. Be filled with grace. Whether you’re struggling with an addiction or supporting someone who is, you’re going to need a lot of grace for yourself and others. If you’re struggling with this addiction, you will need to accept grace from God and others, but also extend it to others as they work through their own pain related to your situation.

If your spouse is struggling with a pornography addiction, consider counseling together, sharing with a couple you respect, and working on your own healing from the pain you’re experiencing. If your spouse has admitted to a porn addiction, you have an incredible opportunity to show them the healing power of the gospel of grace. All of this will require grace upon grace upon grace, and there’s always more where that came from.

4. Get help to deal with both the surface and deeper issues. Pornography addiction is just as real as any substance addiction, and it impacts as many or more parts of life. In addition to prayer and confession to friends or pastors, most people will need more help. This addiction is more than just wanting to see images of sex between strangers. However, that is what the brain is addicted to, and very practical help will be needed to change.

This is where counseling, 12-step programs, consistent accountability from groups, and hard work will come in. Remember, other substance abuses are often not rooted in some kind of immense desire for the substance—there are wounds, abuses, neglect, and big questions looking to be answered in the wrong way through these addictions. 

To quit porn addiction forever, you, your marriage, your child, or your friend will need to address the deeper issues. If you attend Life.Church, you can ask your local pastors for recommendations for further help. If you live in the United States, find a local Christian counselor, coach, or clinic through Christian Care Connect.

Here’s how one person at Life.Church found deeper healing:

“I discovered that the root issue of my addiction was wanting to be accepted and loved as I am. I learned how to find that with real people who care about me and ultimately with God. Now I’m learning how to explore God’s beautiful creation of sex with my spouse without shame.”

5. Make your devices safe. Listen, if there is a bear that keeps coming inside your house through your front door, then you need a better front door. Whether or not pornography addiction is an issue in your house, now is a good time to make web browsers, YouTube, phones, tablets, computers, smart TVs, and any streaming device a safe place for you and anyone living in your house. 

If you or a loved one is fighting a pornography addiction or just want to be more careful, add ad-blockers to your web browsers and look into software like CovenantEyes, Accountable2You, X3watch, and others that help block porn websites and provide transparency. Software can help as part of a relationship-centered approach to overcoming this addiction.

Here’s how one person at Life.Church created accountability.

“I installed CovenantEyes filtering software on all of my devices, and got an accountability partner who monitored those filter reports. When I got married I had a discussion with my wife about my past, and I added her to the accountability reports as well.”

4 Thoughts for Confession and Listening

1. Pray about it. If you’re the one confessing, pray and ask God for His grace, for empathy for the person you’re confessing to, for wisdom about how much to share, and for the courage to follow through. If someone else is confessing to you, say a quick, silent prayer asking God for grace, empathy, patience, and wisdom, knowing you can’t fix this addiction.

2. Do your part with help. If you’re admitting an addiction, your part is to tell the truth kindly—more on that in the next section. If someone admits to you their pornography addiction, here are a few things to remember.

First, they have decided to trust you with something very painful. However, you’re not their counselor, you (ideally) aren’t their only confidant, and you are not responsible for fixing the problem. They just overcame a huge hurdle, so thank them for sharing.

They’re telling you because they believe it’s wrong, so they don’t need to be reminded right now. Don’t freak out. They are taking an important step, but there will be many more down the road.

You don’t have to know all the next steps. You can listen, ask them what they plan to do next, and check in to see if they’ve taken their next step. If you’re hearing from your spouse, child, or significant other, it’s a good idea for you to seek help from a counselor, pastor, and, if appropriate, your LifeGroup leaders.

3. Tell the truth kindly. If you’re confessing, remember that you’ve probably practiced this conversation in your mind before. The person you confess to likely hasn’t. You’ve possibly had a chance to start the healing process and see a path forward. That may not be true for the person you’re sharing with.

If you’re confessing to your spouse or significant other, be especially thoughtful about timing, location, and exactly what you share up front. Think of how you would want to be treated in this situation and put your spouse first. Don’t let this stop you from being honest, but practice empathy as you confess. Bringing in a counselor, a pastor, or, if appropriate, your LifeGroup leaders for wisdom is a good idea.

There may be situations with a spouse finding out for the first time, or in mixed company, where it makes sense not to share every single detail in your first confession. However, you will also not want to share anything that isn’t fully true. That would only damage trust further. So, instead of crafting, or changing the story in any way, simply share as much truth as is appropriate for the situation, and communicate that you plan to be fully honest throughout the healing process and that you may have more to share in the future.

Again, in the case of a marriage, it is often a wise choice to bring in a mutually trusted third party to help facilitate some of the healing that will take place.

4. Follow up. When someone shares something heavy with you, it’s easy to have one of two tendencies—you bring it up too often afterward, or you never bring it up again. Neither is helpful. So, think about your follow-up strategy. After you ask them about their next step, decide how frequently you’ll check in to pray for them, ask how they are doing, and see how their next step went. Also, be sure to honor them in the way you follow up. If they told you in private, bring it up again privately.

If you’re a man and looking for content to help you and your friends find freedom and live the lives you really want, we think you’ll love Wild Life.

7 Prayers for Quitting Porn

Prayer is a helpful and often underestimated tactic for quitting porn addiction and overcoming all kinds of sexual pain. Here’s why:

In summary, prayer puts us in the right place for healing, which is a place of openness and hunger for God’s amazing grace. Here are some prayers to help you quit porn addiction. 

1. How to pray when you’re feeling triggered to look at porn.
God, You know what I’m feeling. Thank You that I don’t have to act on my temptation. You gave me my emotional, physical, and mental desires, and You know how I can use them to honor You and love others. Give me wisdom to know what to stop, grace to be kind to myself, and courage to do the right thing, right now. In Jesus’ name, amen.

2. How to pray when you’re trying to confess.
God, You know the people I need to confess to. You know everything I’ve done, and You still have grace for me. Thank You. Will You give me the wisdom to know what to say, the kindness in saying it, and the courage to do it soon? In Jesus’ name, amen.

3. How to pray when your eyes want to look.
God, thank You for making humans wonderfully. Thank You for making this person I just saw or the people my eyes want to see. They are someone’s family, and they are Your children. I will not use them for an addiction any longer. Like me, they are fully human, and fully loved by You and others. If they are stuck in some kind of abusive situation, please bring along people who can help them get free. I’m fixing my eyes on You, and by Your strength, I turn away from any kind of wrong thoughts. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

4. How to pray if you relapse.
God, You are such a good Father to me. I am sorry for giving in to temptation. Forgive me for doing what I don’t want to do, and for acting against our relationship. Thank You for forgiving me fully and for the way Jesus covers my entire life with grace. Help me to make it right with others, and help me know who to talk with about this. In Jesus’ name, amen.

5. How to pray each day you find healing from porn addiction.
God, You are fully capable of my complete healing from this addiction. Thank You for the way You made me so wonderfully. Thank You for my body, my brain, my eyes, my soul, and my heart. You made me on purpose, and You love me as I am while You lovingly restore me. Give me today the strength I need to forgive myself, forgive others, resist temptation, and bring my full self to the life You put in front of me. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

6. How to pray for someone who’s overcoming pornography addiction.
God, thank You for being a good Father to ________. You made them wonderfully, and You are restoring them well. I put them in Your hands and trust You fully with their complete healing. Help me to know what part You want me to play, and please show me the ways I need to surrender to Your grace. In Jesus’ name, amen.

7. How to pray for people caught in the porn industry.
God, You know the reasons people have become stuck in the pornography industry. You know about the addictions, pain, financial issues, abuse, and human trafficking that occur. You see each person as Your child, and You know about the kind of healing and freedom that’s possible for them. We ask by the power of Your Holy Spirit that today people would find a way out. We ask for paths full of healing, provision, and recovery from this industry. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

There Is Always A Way Out

No matter what situation you are in, no matter how this addiction has affected you or your family, there is a good, loving God who is full of grace, who has provided for you a way out

Quitting porn addiction may happen fast, or it may be a journey, but it is not the final destination of your life. It is part of God’s plan to restore you to a relationship with Him, as this person at Life.Church found out:

“Today I’m almost 8 years clean. I have learned so much about myself and about God. As I learn how pure and perfect God’s love is for us, I can’t help but want to stay as far away as I can from porn.”

If you already know Jesus, you know this is true. If you haven’t come to know Jesus, we’d love for you to visit our church online or in person, or consider praying this prayer to say yes to Him

Finally, here’s some truth you might want to memorize:

The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure. 1 Corinthians 10:13 NLT

Here’s what another person at Life.Church learned from finding a way out of porn addiction. 

The poison of porn is the way it causes us to stop seeing people as people, but instead as objects for our pleasure—which is opposite to the way of Jesus. The way of Jesus is a way defined by loving others the same way He has loved us. On top of that, I learned that restrictions, guardrails, and accountability are absolutely critical, because at some point, our discipline will run out. Also, God’s grace covers every sin. Far too many people miss the freedom that is available because we hide our sins and never actually take the step to repent. What is repentance? It’s choosing to accept God’s invitation to experience grace, forgiveness, and redemption.”


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