“Eva? … Eva? We’ve lost Eva again.” As the words came together, they shocked me to my senses. I looked up to see my coworkers laughing at me. I’d drifted off, yet again, in a meeting. Horrified, I mumbled an apology, and the meeting continued. I’ve always struggled with staying focused, and no matter how hard I’d worked to grow, the same problem kept coming back. For the rest of the day, I felt ashamed and full of the fear of not being good enough.
I wonder if you’ve ever felt the same way? Like you keep trying to grow in a part of your life but keep falling short. It’s frustrating and exhausting. After a while, it’s easy to feel discouraged and believe the worst of yourself. But I’m convinced there’s a better way to live. So, together let’s discover how to find freedom from the fear of not being good enough.
Never Good Enough
My fear of forgetting and making mistakes damaged my relationships with others and my walk with Christ. Sometimes I said arrogant things to try to overcome the fear of not being good enough. Sometimes I wouldn’t say anything at all out of fear of sounding stupid. Insecurity drove me to be critical, quick to blame others, and made excuses for my mistakes. Fear was everywhere!
If you fear not being good enough, you know it’s a lonely place to be. So how do we find freedom from the fear of not being good enough? It starts with changing our perspective.
I thought that if I did all the right things and never missed a detail, I would gain acceptance and recognition. I tried. But time and time again, I failed. Why? Because my eyes were fixed on myself, an imperfect person, instead of the perfection that is Jesus Christ. Fear asks us to live up to a standard of “perfection.” God asks us to live under His standard of love!
As I dove into this journey to overcome my fear of not being good enough, I realized I hadn’t fully accepted how much God truly did love me. Me! Eva Aranda! I had to understand that I was fearfully and wonderfully made even on my worst days. I, “Evíta” (as I feel He calls me), am chosen and completely loved by God. This acceptance and a new understanding of God’s love allowed me to come out from behind my fear to accept myself exactly as I am, messiness and all.
Sure, I still try to improve and create better habits, but I know I’ll never be perfect. The same is true for you. Find ways to grow in your weaknesses, but give yourself grace. Your worth doesn’t come from your perfection; it comes from the freely given love of Jesus.
Today, I make choices out of freedom instead of fear. I allow God to love me. I allow Him to carry me through my times of struggle, and I allow Him to renew my mind daily. The more I trust God with my deepest and darkest fears; the more His perfect love gives me peace. God has not given me the spirit of fear. Instead, he loves me, and through His power, I am an overcomer.