Do you ever feel like you’re dialing heaven but no one’s picking up?
You sit there, staring at the ceiling, saying, “Dear God …” and then nothing.
You wonder, Did I say it wrong? Was I supposed to end with a louder “amen”? Should I have prayed standing? Or was I supposed to pray privately, like in a closet? Maybe I used the wrong words. Maybe God isn’t answering because I prayed the wrong way.
Whether you’re new to prayer or wondering why your prayer life feels stuck, let’s talk about some myths about prayer and the truth that can help you take your next step in a real conversation with God.
Key Takeaways
- There isn’t a magic formula to prayer.
- Prayer is a conversation, not a performance.
- Jesus showed us the way to pray through the Lord’s Prayer.
- Even if your prayers feel like they’re not working, you’re not alone. God listens, answers, and invites you to keep showing up.
3 Myths About How to Pray
If prayer has ever felt confusing, intimidating, or like it’s “not working,” you’re not alone. Many of us have questions or misconceptions about how prayer is supposed to work. So let’s talk about three common myths about prayer and how to overcome them with God’s truth.
Myth #1: There’s a Magic Formula
Sometimes we treat prayer like a recipe. Add one part “Dear heavenly Father,” two parts “forgive me,” a sprinkle of “daily bread,” and finish with a strong “amen.”
But prayer isn’t a recipe or magic spell we have to get just right. Jesus Christ made that clear in Matthew 6 when He warned His disciples not to “babble on and on” in prayer in an attempt to be heard (Matthew 6:7). Prayer isn’t about saying the right words. Instead, think of prayer as a conversation with someone who loves you.
God is our Father, not a distant judge grading our vocabulary.
Sometimes when you pray, you might be clear and concise. Other times, you might ramble a bit, or simply want to silently sit in God’s presence. The Bible doesn’t tell us to feel anxious when we pray. Instead, it reminds us that God is our Father, not a distant judge grading our vocabulary.
If prayer feels overwhelming, start here:
Talk to God as you’d talk to a friend. Not with empty phrases, but with honest thoughts. You might begin with classic prayer openings like “Dear God” or “Heavenly Father,” or you can just jump right in and speak from the heart. Don’t stress about the proper way or the right words.
And remember, the Holy Spirit helps us even when we don’t know what to say. That means you’re never praying alone.
Myth #2: You Need to Pray the Right Way, or It Doesn’t Count
Do you ever ask yourself questions like, Am I supposed to fold my hands when I pray, or lift them above my head? How many minutes do I need to pray each day? Who should I pray with? Can I pray silently, or do I have to pray out loud? Should I bow, stand, or sit? Will God be offended if I wear a hat when I pray?
There’s more freedom in prayer than we often think.
Jesus gave us an example of prayer called the Lord’s Prayer, but even that wasn’t meant as the only way to pray. It’s a model. It shows us what matters: worship, surrender, asking for our daily bread (our daily needs), forgiveness, and faith.
Want a deeper look? Read this: What Is the Lord’s Prayer?
Jesus provided us with several things we’re wise to pray about, but He didn’t force a prayer method on us. He didn’t say, “If you want to pray the right way, make sure it’s for at least 23 minutes a day, before 7:00am, kneeling with your knees at a 47-degree angle, beside at least two other people praying out loud.”
Whether you pray in the morning, at night, on your own, with your family, or in a small group, God hears you. Pray standing, kneeling, or sitting. Pray privately. Pray with others. Pray before a meal or after a hard day. Whether you’re in church or at home, there’s not just one proper position, place, or group of people.
What matters is your heart. Don’t perform. Just be present. Because God already knows what you need.
If you’re unsure how to begin, try this: Think of one thing you’re thankful for and say it out loud to God. That’s prayer. Or ask for help in just one area of your life. No script required—just your heart.
Myth #3: If God Doesn’t Answer, You Did Something Wrong
Sometimes prayer feels like calling a friend who never picks up. You begin to wonder: Did I do something wrong?
When prayer doesn’t go the way you hope, it’s natural to wonder, Is God listening? Did I mess up? Do I need to try a different way to pray?
God is full of grace and doesn’t restrict access to His love and care to “spiritually elite” or “put-together” people. There are times when the answer to our prayers may be “wait” or even “no.” But God is still near, He hears, and He cares.
When Jesus taught us to pray, He concluded with, “Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”
When you pray, you’re not just talking about your life, wants, and needs. You’re joining in God’s mission to bring His kingdom to earth. That means praying with purpose, with hope, and with faith that your words are part of something bigger than yourself.
So if you’re ever frustrated that God isn’t answering your specific request in the way you hoped, ask Him to show you how He’s working through you to build His kingdom on earth.
Still feel unsure about what to do next? Try this: Write out your thoughts to God like a letter. Start with “Dear God” and tell Him what’s on your mind—even your doubts. He can handle your honesty. Then, take a breath, and trust that He’s listening.
One way to hear God speak back to you is to read the Bible, His Word. Try opening it up and reading Jesus’ words day by day.
Still feel like you need help? Here’s something to guide you: Example prayers for anything you need.
So, Is There a Wrong Way to Pray?
Yes, of course there is. Here are a few examples of wrong ways to pray:
- Praying to impress others.
- Praying to impress God.
- Treating God like a cosmic vending machine.
- Treating God like a robot that only responds to the right password.
Do you notice the pattern? We pray the wrong way when we bring the wrong attitude into our prayers. Pride, self-promotion, greed, and laziness can negatively affect our prayer lives.
Of course, our attitude doesn’t impact God’s unconditional love for us, but it can lead us to pray in a way that doesn’t align with God’s plans for the world or our lives. When this happens, it’s less likely that God will answer our prayers in the way that we hope.
Fortunately, it doesn’t take much effort to avoid these wrong ways to pray. Healthy prayer is easier to practice because the best prayers are honest, simple, and personal.
When you speak from the heart, whether it’s loud or quiet, long or short, joyful or frustrated, confident or full of doubt, you’re doing it right. That’s how you talk to the God who knows you and loves you.
Prayer ≠ Performance
Here’s the Main Point: Prayer is not about performance. It’s about presence.
Whether you’re praying with your family, at church, in your small group, or while driving to work, God hears you. Don’t worry about saying the right words. Just start.
Prayer Prompts
If you don’t know how to begin praying, try these prayer starters:
- “Dear God, I don’t know what to say, but I want to talk to You.”
- “Heavenly Father, thank You for today. Help me trust You.”
- “Jesus, I’m struggling. Please hear me.”