Romantic relationships can be a beautiful gift, but they can also be challenging. Whether you’re dating, engaged, or married, you’ve probably faced moments of miscommunication, unmet expectations, or confusion about what to do next.
The good news is that God doesn’t ask us to figure love out on our own. The Bible offers practical and powerful wisdom for building relationships that is rooted in faith and shaped by grace.
In this article, we’ll explore three helpful tips for growing a godly romantic relationship. You’ll discover how to let go of what you can’t control, communicate with love and clarity, and set healthy boundaries that protect your peace and strengthen your connection.
Let’s get started!
1. Control vs. Care
Relationships are messy. People are unpredictable. And no matter how much we care about someone, we can’t control their thoughts, choices, or feelings. (Frustrating, right?) But here’s the good news: That’s not our job.
God didn’t design us to manage other people—He designed us to love them. And love isn’t about control; it’s about showing up with patience, kindness, and grace, even when things don’t go our way.
So, what can we control? Ourselves. Our thoughts, our responses, and our attitudes.
Relationship Tip 1: Instead of stressing over what someone else should do, ask, “What’s my next faithful step?”
It’s Not Your Job to “Fix” Them
Letting go of control could mean listening instead of fixing, encouraging without expecting a response, or praying instead of worrying. It might look like setting a boundary without guilt, pausing before reacting, or trusting God with what’s out of your hands.
Jesus modeled this perfectly. He invited people to follow Him, but He never forced them. He loved freely, even when people walked away. When we follow His example, we’ll find freedom, too. Because real peace in relationships doesn’t come from fixing others; it comes from trusting God and being faithful with what’s ours to carry.
Want to Show Care?
Think of a relationship where you’ve been trying to control the outcome. Today, choose one way to show love without trying to fix or change the other person, whether you’re offering encouragement with no strings attached or simply letting go of something that’s not yours to carry. For more on letting go of control, check out this article.
Can we pray for you and your relationship?
2. Truth + Love
Ever walked away from a conversation thinking, That’s not what I meant at all? You’re definitely not alone.
Communication is tricky. We want to be honest, but we also don’t want to hurt others or push people away. The good news? Jesus shows us how to speak with both clarity and kindness.
Jesus never avoided hard conversations. He confronted issues head on, but He always spoke with love. He encouraged people to talk directly to each other when there was a problem, not to gossip, vent, or stay silent in frustration.
Truth without love is harsh. Love without truth is unclear.
Paul, a biblical author, expands on Jesus’ example in Ephesians 4:15, reminding us to “speak the truth in love.” Truth without love is harsh. Love without truth is unclear. But when we combine them, we discover healthy communication.
Relationship Tip 2: Communicate with both truth and love to create clarity and connection.
I Probably Shouldn’t Have Said That
So, how do we communicate clearly without being critical? It depends on your communication style.
If you’re the kind of person who regularly thinks, “I probably shouldn’t have said that,” then it starts with checking your heart. Are you speaking to fix, judge, or control? Or are you speaking to understand, build up, and strengthen the relationship?
But if you’re the kind of person who’s more prone to think, “I probably should have said something,” then it starts with checking your priorities. Are you trying to maintain short-term peace at the expense of long-term health? Or are you trying to support the growth of the people you love?
Speaking with clarity and kindness can still cause conflict, but it’s the healthy conflict that relationships need to grow. Avoid being a steamroller or a pushover. Instead, communicate with compassion and boldness.
Want to Communicate Better?
Before a conversation today, take a deep breath and pray for wisdom and humility. Choose one way to speak with both truth and love—whether you soften your tone, focus on understanding, or simply listen before you respond. For help growing in humility, check out these example humility prayers.
3. Set Healthy Boundaries
Loving people well doesn’t mean saying yes to everything. It doesn’t mean letting others take advantage of us or ignoring our limits. Healthy relationships require healthy boundaries, and Jesus modeled this practice perfectly.
Jesus loved everyone, but He didn’t give everyone unlimited access to Him. He took time to rest, walked away when people rejected Him, and even set clear expectations for relationships.
Boundaries aren’t about pushing people away; they’re about making space for relationships to thrive.
So, what do healthy boundaries look like? They might mean saying no when you’re overwhelmed, setting limits on toxic conversations, or choosing distance when a relationship is harmful.
Boundaries are about wisely stewarding what God has called you to be responsible for: your time, your energy, and your heart. Love and support others, while listening to the Holy Spirit about what is—and isn’t—yours to carry.
Relationship Tip 3: Set clear boundaries to set yourself up for sustainable success.
Create Space for Healthier Relationships
Setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable at first, but they lead to stronger, healthier connections. When we establish clear limits with kindness and consistency, we create space for relationships built on mutual respect, not guilt or pressure.
So, what are a few boundaries you might need to set? Maybe you need to set new standards for how you and your spouse spend your time or money, or for how you allow your significant other to speak to you. No matter the boundary, approach the conversation with prayer, asking God for a stronger relationship.
Want to Set Boundaries?
Think of one boundary you need to set or reinforce in your life. Whether you want to say no to something draining, set limits on your time, or create space for rest, take one step today to honor that boundary with confidence and kindness.
Take One Healthy Step Today
Great relationships aren’t about getting everything right. They’re about growing together with love, grace, and wisdom. And you’re building something stronger every time you choose to let go of control, speak with kindness, or set a healthy boundary.
Keep trusting God, keep learning, and keep loving well. He’s with you in every conversation, every challenge, and every step forward.
There’s always more to learn about relationships, and we’d love to keep the conversation going. If you’d like to discover more about faith and relationships, check out these resources: