Do you want more joy and less bitterness? More fun and less fear? More freedom from shame and other toxic traits? More connection and less pornography addiction?
Whoa—did we go there already? Yeah … this quiz is for real, and we think it will help you find one area of growth and healing in your life.
Let’s discover a simple next step.
Choose Your Journey:
1. I just want someone to pray for me.
That’s great. Seriously, there are so many of us across the country and around the world who are so excited to pray with you. It’s really easy—just click the button, share your need, and someone will pray for you.
2. I’m ready to take the Deep Clean Quiz.
Yeah, you are! Here’s how it works:
- If possible, read through the quiz with your spouse or someone you really trust.
- Open your heart to hearing from God, yourself, and others about which topic stands out.
- Identify which area you’re ready to find freedom from (it’s probably the section that has you nodding vigorously and is also hardest to read), then click the blue button to find some help to get you started.
- Relate with more than one area? That’s okay! Just start with the one that’s either consuming most of your thoughts or taking the biggest toll on your life.
- Talk to God and others about what you learn and what you’re processing. If you’re not in a LifeGroup, join one either online or in person.
Deep Clean Quiz
You can read through in order, or use these links to jump around. This is your quiz—go for it.
Let’s get started with toxic trait #1.
Shame
Shame is the overwhelming feeling that our mistakes are our identity. (They aren’t.) In response to shame, we often make all kinds of rigid rules, or we try to avoid or cover up our issues. Read the statements below to see if you need to get rid of shame once and for all!
- When someone suggests you might have done something wrong, you feel driven to defend yourself, defame the person, or blame the situation. But on the inside, you’re feeling like what’s wrong is you.
- When something goes wrong, you start making “I am, I can’t, I never” statements.
- “Mistakes are disasters. I’m spending so much of myself to avoid them.”
- “The real me must stay hidden because no one wants to see that.”
- “Why are they asking so much of me? They’re going to make me fail.”
Are you ready to take another step away from shame?
Moving on, let’s look at toxic trait #2.
Pornography Addiction
Sadly, most of us were exposed to porn before we even knew what it was. Now we know it’s wrong, but it might feel impossible to quit. Use the statements below to determine if it’s time to take a next step toward freedom from porn addiction.
- “I feel like I’m the only person I know who’s addicted. I can’t tell anyone—they’ll think I’m a creep.”
- “I hate that I do this. I don’t want to do it anymore, but it just keeps happening.”
- “It’s becoming a major problem in my marriage. I’m afraid of being found out, but I’m also afraid of continuing in this direction.”
- It might feel good to you to have access to others in this way. You like how it makes you feel vulnerable and known—even wanted. But you realize it’s not the same as deep, committed love in marriage.
- You might live with constant anxiety from the tension between wanting to stop, not wanting to get caught, and feeling like you need another fix.
Truth: If this is you, you are not alone. Many people overcome porn addiction, and you can too. It’s totally normal to need help with this. And there are all sorts of help available, including this guide we created by talking to people who’ve overcome their own pornography addiction.
(P.S. If you’re helping someone else find freedom from porn, this resource will be valuable for you, too.)
Next up? Toxic trait #3.
Bitterness
Bitterness is a lack of joy in most of life. Maybe something happened to you, or something didn’t go the way it should have. Maybe someone let you down, or you’re experiencing doubts about God’s goodness. You might even be experiencing depression.
- “Such is life. Nothing ever works out for me. I don’t know why it would ever get better.”
- “I would be happy if God would come through for me.”
- “People just don’t care as much as I do. It’s easier to keep to myself than it is to keep getting let down.”
- Maybe you had a big dream, put a lot of work, heart, and effort into it, and it never panned out. Or maybe you lost people or relationships in your life.
- You might find yourself focusing on the difficult or painful parts of stories when you tell others about your life.
It’s possible to know real joy and hope again. Is this one your next step? If you’re struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts, please seek help from a professional.
Now it’s time for toxic trait #4.
Fear
Fear is a strong, believable sense that something or someone is going to hurt you. There’s a healthy kind of fear that keeps you safe, and an unhealthy kind of fear that keeps you stuck. Read the statements below to see if it’s time to say farewell to unhealthy fear.
- “I would absolutely love that, but what if ________? So, I don’t think I can.”
- You always seem to have a reason not to fully commit to a relationship, really lean in at work, or finally do that thing you love.
- Fear of failure, speaking, travel, water, heights, bugs or animals, sickness, or pain keep you from pursuing the kind of life you want to live.
- Do you find yourself moving on from others so they don’t move on from you? Or have you ever heard that you can be clingy?
- Does fear often become physical for you, to the extent that it’s taking a toll on your well-being or how you function?
John, one of Jesus’ disciples, wrote that perfect love casts out fear. You don’t have to live with constant fear. If you’re ready for a new way of living, lean in, click below, and say goodbye to fear.
Last on the list is toxic trait #5.
Pride
Unhealthy pride can be difficult for its owner to detect. We’re not talking about the positive kind of pride that celebrates others or finds joy in God’s good gifts. The pride you don’t want says, “You have to be the winner!” and “I need the attention of others.” If this might be you, ask a close friend or family member to help you process these statements.
- When you tell a story, you’re always the hero. Even if it’s about you getting hurt, failing, or losing, you still somehow come out the winner.
- You don’t lose political, religious, or social media arguments. You may not always prove your point, but you definitely know when people are wrong.
- It can be difficult to see others succeed in areas you care about. You become critical of people who surpass you in some way.
- “I let them win. If I hadn’t ______, they never would have had a chance.”
- “I wonder what they think of me?”
We all experience some unhealthy pride. If you’ve identified this as your main area, you’re taking a huge step of humility. Here’s a way to start overcoming pride.
Did you pick your focus?
If you haven’t landed on one, that’s okay. Don’t move on or try all five at once. You can still find freedom from the toxic traits that hold you back and steal your joy. Talk to your friends, family, or LifeGroup about what you’re processing in the next couple of weeks and pray something like this each day:
God, I am inviting Your Holy Spirit to make a home in my life. Show me the places where You’re ready to heal me and make me more whole. I trust You with what’s next. I’m listening for Your kind voice to speak to me through wise friends, Scripture, and Your creation. In Jesus’ name, amen.