Don’t Tell Me How to Feel as a Single on Valentine’s Day - Finds.Life.Church

Don’t Tell Me How to Feel as a Single on Valentine’s Day

by Audra Blake

There are a lot of opinions about how to feel as a single person on Valentine’s Day. But why would I let someone else decide?

I’ll explain with a story.

I saw him looking at me from across the dance floor. A tall, slender girl was whispering in his ear and gesturing in my direction. A few moments later he was crossing the room toward me. “Would you dance this next one with me?” he asked. We walked out to the dance floor just as the DJ put on a slow song, and as we began to sway he leaned close to my ear.

    “You know,” he said, “if guys aren’t dancing with you, just go up and ask them!”

     I looked up at him, surprised.

    “It’s a shame. Guys these days just don’t know how to ask a girl to dance.”

    “Oh, yeah?”

    “Yeah, it’s really sad. A girl like you shouldn’t be left on the sidelines.”

I mumbled my thanks as the song came to an end. The tall, slender girl smiled and winked at me as I walked embarrassed and confused back to the table where I had been sitting. I know the girl who sent her date over meant well, but it was an abrupt reminder of my singleness—and my singleness had earned me their pity.  

People react oddly to singleness. Personally, I get advice, blind date offers, consolation, and pity. But here’s the deal: I don’t actually spend my days lamenting my singleness. Believe it or not, I just live my life.

I’m not sad about being single. There. I said it. And I can see you rolling your eyes out there, but it’s true. Here’s the other thing: you don’t have to feel the same way that I do.

Valentine’s Day was here, and Facebook feeds overflowed with feelings. Some people were happy, some indifferent, some devastated. It’s the holiday of haves and have nots. You should know that it’s okay to feel the way that you feel. Wanting to be dating or married is a legitimate desire of the heart. Healthy marriages and relationships are worthy of celebration. And being content in your singleness can happen, despite what the world thinks.

Ecclesiastes says God deals out joy in the present. But, that doesn’t mean if we slap on a smile and clench our teeth hard enough we’ll be happy. It means God’s design is for us to have joy at all times. Real joy. It’s His gift!

The dance party I mentioned earlier? It was my dear friend’s wedding. I was her bridesmaid, and I had been dancing with close friends all night. I hadn’t considered my singleness because I wasn’t alone. I was surrounded by people I loved very much, and I was celebrating the love of two people I cared for greatly.

So, what’s stealing your joy today?

I bet if you look around, you’ll find there’s something to celebrate. Even if you find yourself single after Valentine’s Day.

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