I began writing the song Seven Days After Hello two weeks before I met my husband, Adam. I already had the bare melody and chord structure. When he came into my life, I was given the lyrics. Seven days after our first “hello,” we began dating. Three months later, we were engaged. Throughout that time, I continued writing this song, adding to it piece by piece as our relationship developed. This is the song we danced to at our wedding. Fact: if I could go back in time and tell my single self that story, she never would’ve believed me.
Love is Worth the Wait
Love is a whirlwind; it’s exhilarating! It’s like the best ride at Disney World! However, if you’ve ever been to a theme park, you know it begins with waiting. You wait. And wait. And wait. It’s hot, your feet hurt, and it’s boring. To pass the time, your mind runs rampant with questions: How long will I have to wait? Will I ever find someone? How will I know? How will I decide? If I do find someone, how will it change my life?
The questions never end. Boredom turns into fear. Fear turns into defense, apprehension, and confusion. Ultimately, you feel stuck. Waiting on marriage. You’re stuck in time until this mystery is solved—until you finally meet this person and can start your life.
Waiting on Marriage Is a Gift
Singles, my best advice for you in the waiting-on-marriage period is to ask God to hold your place in line, and then go explore the park! There is so much you can do as a single. You are a free agent for God’s work! The enemy wants you waiting in line—bored, sore-footed, and sunburned. But God wants to take you everywhere and show you all the sights and sounds!
**Spoiler** If you leave the line, if you trust God with your place in line, you’ll eventually find it’s not just some thrill ride you’re longing for. What you really want is a companion to explore the park with. God will be that companion, and it will be the adventure of your life. He’ll fill that place of longing with all sufficiency. And when you’re whole, complete, and satisfied in your companionship with Him, there may come a time when you meet another companion—a whole, complete, satisfied individual who also left that dreadful line. It’s time to stop waiting on marriage and start running after God.
Singleness is an Opportunity
In Proverbs 3:5-6, we’re told to trust in the Lord with all of our hearts and to avoid leaning on our own understanding. Interesting that what it doesn’t say is to trust in the Lord with all of our brains. Trying to wrap my mind around why I’m still single had led mostly to frustration. So, maybe the best question for us in the solo season isn’t why, but what next? What will we do with this season? Where will we go? Who does God want us to connect with?
Remember—marriage, as great as it is, isn’t the endgame. The endgame is to be a fully devoted follower of Christ.
Here’s a thought—marriage, as great as it is, isn’t the endgame. In the book of 1 Corinthians, chapter 7, the apostle Paul is pretty clear on singleness as a follower of Christ. In so many words, Paul said that singleness is an opportunity to serve God in a way only you can as an unmarried person. The endgame is to be a fully devoted follower of Christ and all the adventure that comes along with that!
Think of being single as your springboard, launching you into your dreams with all your heart.
I had dreams in my heart that were dormant for years. I wanted to pursue my passion of music and ministry, write and record another album, and direct a documentary but I felt my singleness was holding me back. But the truth was, it was a gift. Think of being single as your springboard, launching you into your dreams with all your heart. It was through pursuing my dreams to make music that I met my husband. He is now my co-adventurer! We are aligned in our callings, passions, and interests in a unique way because we both got out of line and met while exploring the park.