Spring is known as a season of hope. Yet, there are times when the despair in our lives can cloud even the brightest rays of sunshine. Haley, a college student, released a thunderstorm of emotions as she poured out her heart on the blank pages of her journal following her abortion decision on October 23, 2000. “Lord, where is my hope?” “Is there a rainbow after the storm?” Haley chose to end her life in March 2001. My heart ached as I read her story. I knew the struggle, fears, and heartache. She was not alone. I wish I could have come alongside Haley in her desperation and told her my story. Maybe it would have been a rainbow for her, a beacon of hope and healing.
I was pregnant with my first wanted child when I was 29. Studying the Old Testament stories of God’s wrath, His punishments for not following His law–statements like “an eye for an eye”–haunted and tormented me. I, too, had an abortion in college. The rainstorm of emotions drenched me as I felt unworthy of forgiveness or love. I needed to hear from God.
The very moment my child was born, God sent a rainbow outside the hospital window. I believe the rainbow appearing was more than a coincidence. It was God’s colorful sign of grace to me. I had been studying His Word, and there He was, sending the well-known sign of hope and promise. In His mysterious way, He made Himself clear to me, as if I heard Him saying, “Lori, you didn’t believe me when I said, ‘You have been forgiven,’ so here is your sign. I meant what I said in Psalm 103:10.”
I know without a doubt He meant for me to share His message of hope and restoration to others, especially after reading testimonies like Haley’s. God’s love is real, amazing and personal. Believe me when I say that He truly forgives, no matter what we’ve done. But we have to forgive ourselves and allow Him to bring healing and restoration that only He can provide when we turn to Him.