Loving Your Spouse When Sex Won’t Cooperate - Finds.Life.Church

Loving Your Spouse When Sex Won’t Cooperate

by Shelley Martin

As a little girl, I dreamed about my wedding—from the cake, to the dress, and even the man I would marry. When you’re dreaming about how your special day will be, you never think about the trials that will come after that day. You definitely aren’t thinking about loving your spouse when sex won’t cooperate.

Before I was born, my mother was diagnosed with a severe case of arthritis. Every day was a struggle for her. My father chose to love and serve her daily. Some days it was simply cooking her breakfast or helping her tie her shoes. Regardless of the task, my father loved my mother. Many years later, I saw my father serve my mother in a new way when my mother was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. My father spent his days loving, serving, and praying for her. I had never seen my father so exhausted both physically and spiritually, but he continued. This was his commitment to Christ as well as my mother.

Shortly after my husband and I married, we faced intimate trials no marriage should face. An activity that once brought us joy now brought pain and tears. Each time, I would cry myself to sleep. The pain, lack of intimacy, and the feeling that I was a failure as a wife drove a wedge between us.

These were difficult days that turned to years that neither of us were sure would ever end. My husband stood by me. He laid aside every possible hurt feeling and chose to love me where I was. He loved me through pain and tears. Today, he still loves me. People say that girls look for husbands who display the same kind of qualities as their fathers. Today more than ever, I am thankful I found a soul mate who loves like my Heavenly Father and who loves like Jesus.