In 2023, the U.S. Surgeon General declared a national “loneliness epidemic,” with roughly half of adults reporting measurable levels of loneliness. More of us are living without the deep, mutual relationships God designed us to experience. Even Christians aren’t immune.
If you can relate to this, take courage: There’s reason to hope. Followers of Jesus are uniquely called to build true community. How? By trading surface-level contact with the people around us for authentic connection rooted in God’s design. The Greek word that the Bible uses for this kind of shared life together is koinōnia.
In their book The Way Back to One Another, authors Jeff Galley and Phillip N. Smith unpack what it looks like to live out this kind of koinōnia community. They discuss five ways we can lean into community and find the kind of Christ-centered belonging we were designed for: by depending on one another, knowing one another, talking with one another, welcoming one another, and committing to one another.
5 Ways to Respond to the Loneliness Epidemic
Let’s take a look at these five “one anothers” and explore how we can respond to the loneliness epidemic in our neighborhoods and communities.
1. Depend on One Another
For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. Romans 12:3-5 NIV
Many of us live in cultures that prize independence, but this isn’t how God designed us to live. He designed us to live interdependently, relying on one another for the support we need to thrive.
True flourishing happens in mutual dependence, like an entire stand of trees that are connected to one another through underground networks. But this countercultural way of living doesn’t develop overnight or without effort. It happens as we repeatedly and consistently reach out to our neighbors, simplify our schedules, share resources, meet together, and disciple one another.
When we make a point of redesigning our lives around “we, not me,” we can rediscover the joy and strength that only comes from community.
2. Know One Another
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35 NIV
Shame keeps all of us, even believers, hidden and lonely. But healing begins when we allow ourselves to be truly known. Fear of judgment drives isolation, while vulnerability fosters connection.
When we grasp that we’re made in the image of God and worthy of love and respect, that truth frees us to open up to others and love them.
But how do we take a first step toward knowing and becoming known by others? Often we need to accept that God, in His infinite love for us, affirms our worth and identity. When we grasp that we’re made in the image of God and worthy of love and respect, that truth frees us to open up to others and love them.
With this in mind, churches are called to be “communities of the known.” In these places, brokenness is met with grace, not judgment. Vulnerability provides a foundation for healing.
3. Talk With One Another
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. Hebrews 10:24-25 NIV
Conversation is vanishing in an age of screens and isolation. We can text or message people all day long, but those methods of communication mean we miss out on getting to know one another more deeply. Instead, it’s through actually talking and listening to one another that we build empathy, connection, and community.
Good conversation involves curiosity, attention, and humility. This means asking questions to understand one another, rather than giving lectures to get our point across. Jesus modeled this for us, using questions to invite understanding in His conversations with other people.
Slow down, listen deeply, and make time to talk face to face, because that’s where true connection begins.
4. Welcome One Another
Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters. Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it. Hebrews 13:1-2 NIV
As Christians, we’re called to welcome the people in our communities, no matter how different from us they might seem. True welcome is active, not accidental. Like Jesus with the Samaritan woman in John 4, we’re invited to embrace those who feel excluded, even when it feels uncomfortable.
The church should draw people in toward Jesus rather than fencing them out. We can take steps to welcome others by seeking diverse perspectives, examining our biases, widening our circles, and designing lives that reflect God’s inclusive love.
And remember: Welcoming others transforms everyone involved, whether you’re the one welcoming, being welcomed, or both.
5. Commit to One Another
“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:12-13 NIV
Often our culture operates with a “what’s in it for me?” kind of consumerism. But that’s not how Jesus lived. The kind of love He showed others—and modeled for us—outlasts convenience, conflict, and imbalance. Deep community requires grit, sacrifice, and shared responsibility. That’s what koinōnia is all about.
Commitment isn’t quick or easy; it’s built through time, flexibility, and openness to “divine interruptions.” When we commit to being all in together, we can’t help but reflect God’s faithful, never-quitting love.
More on Finding Community
This article is just a brief overview of what it looks like to live with these five “one anothers” in mind, in pursuit of the deep community God designed each of us to experience. If you want to learn more about how you can find the relationships you’re looking for, check out Jeff and Phil’s book, The Way Back to One Another.