We all have something we want to change in our lives, right? Maybe it’s related to health: You want to be more intentional about exercise and choosing healthy foods. Or maybe you’d like to be more present with God through some kind of spiritual habit like prayer. Or you hope to grow more responsible with money and reduce your impulse buys.
But no matter what you want to change in your life, it’s essential to realize that wanting to change and actually changing are two different things. As Pastor Craig Groeschel says, “A dream without a plan is just a wish.”
So how do we actually change our lives? We start by looking to God and people.
We Need God’s Strength
Did you know that about 40 percent of our daily behaviors and actions are habits? This means nearly half of what we do each day is an unconscious decision. It’s pretty difficult to change your life when you don’t even realize you’re running on autopilot, right?
The Apostle Paul understood this when he wrote:
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. … For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Romans 7:15, 18-19 NIV
Paul was stuck in bad habits and sinful behaviors and truly wanted to change. Yet it wasn’t through his own willpower that he experienced change and freedom. Instead, it was through the grace of God, as he went on to exclaim a few verses later:
Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! … Romans 7:25 NIV
Seek God First
If you want to change your life, you’ll need God’s strength. His strength goes far beyond our understanding and sustains us when we’d rather give up or quit. Depending on what you’re trying to change, you might find yourself tempted to lean away from God instead of leaning toward Him—but one of the best ways to experience God’s strength is by seeking Him every day. God is relational and cares about you deeply. He’s excited about any positive change you’re trying to make, and He wants to be part of the process.
When we seek Him first, we’re choosing to pause and focus on His presence in the situation. It helps us see how He’s leading and directing our paths. We can prioritize our relationship with God through spiritual habits like prayer, studying the Bible, and serving others.
Seek God every day. Seeking God isn’t a one-time decision—it’s a daily choice. There’s no shortcut to change, but it’s a lot more likely to happen when you invite God to be part of the process. So, make a daily routine of seeking God, and see how He starts changing your life!
Look to Others
If we want our changes to last, we’ll also need to invite other people into the process. This can feel scary or intimidating, depending on the type of change we’re wanting to make.
For me, telling my friends makes my intention feel more real. I actually have to admit to wanting to change. And sometimes, that makes me feel vulnerable and unsure of myself—even if it’s a change I’m really excited about.
Choose intentional vulnerability.
Choosing to share how you want to change your life doesn’t mean you’re telling everyone you know. It just means you need to find a few trusted people who will help hold you accountable. It could be people you get together with on a regular basis, like a small group or close friends. Or maybe someone you see in a specific setting, like at the gym.
When you let others in, it helps you get started, but it also gives you someone to walk with when you feel discouraged—and people to celebrate with when you hit a goal.
The writer to the Hebrews encourages all believers to be voices of encouragement and accountability:
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. Hebrews 10:24-25 NIV
Maybe when you look around at the people in your life, you feel like something’s missing. If you’re ready to find people to share your life with—people to encourage and be encouraged by—here are a few ideas.
4 Ways to Find People to Share Life With
1. Welcome Others In
Who are the people you interact with regularly? Think of those you may be around often but don’t know on a personal level. You can lead the way in building a relationship by practicing hospitality. It’s easy to think of hospitality as dinner parties and clean homes, but it’s much broader—and deeper—than that.
What is hospitality? Hospitality is a posture of welcoming others into your life. It’s more of an internal decision and a way you choose to interact with others. It’s listening well, caring deeply, and making people feel at home, even if you aren’t actually in a house. So think of some of the people in your life—maybe your neighbors or coworkers. How can you create a welcoming space for them today or this week?
2. Find a Way to Give Back
One of the easiest ways I’ve been able to meet others is through serving with my local church. For me, it’s a weekly commitment—a decision to spend an hour connecting with people who attend on the weekend.
For you, it could be meeting the needs of a neighbor or coworker. Or volunteering with a local organization in your community. When you have an others-first mindset, you see the people around you more clearly.
Not sure where to start? That’s okay! If you’d like to find a place where you can use your gifts and passions to serve others, consider signing up to serve in person or online at Life.Church.
3. Invest in Someone Else
When you were growing up, you probably had an adult or teacher who made an impact on your life. Now, you can have the same influence on someone else. Mentoring is when you invest in someone else to grow in a specific area or support changes they’re making in their life.
As you look to make changes in your life, you might also decide to seek out a mentor to learn from. This could be someone who’s had similar experiences as you, or who has a special interest in the area you’re trying to change.
4. Join or Start a Small Group
One of the best ways to find relationships is through an intentional small group. These groups are dedicated to meeting together regularly, encouraging one another, and supporting growth in everyone’s lives. The early church shows us some of the characteristics of Christ-honoring small groups:
They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. … All the believers were together and had everything in common. … They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. Acts 2:42-47 NIV
When you share your life with others, you’re experiencing a true, deep, and rich community. This is one of the most important “ingredients” to growing your faith and changing your life.
Getting Started
We won’t be able to stop bad habits and start fresh until we really commit to it. Are you ready to make a real, lasting change in your life? To accomplish it, you’ll need the strength of God and accountability from others. It’s these two things that will sustain you when you face temptation, opposition, or the desire to quit.
Start small
If you want to change, stop waiting. Decide right now what you’re going to tackle. Then, take the first step in the direction you want to go. A small start is still a start. And with God and others, you’ll have the support and encouragement you need to keep going.
We’d love to help you find a small group of Christian friends. At Life.Church, we call them LifeGroups. You can find an in-person or online LifeGroup using the button below.
