Ungrateful kids. We’ve all seen them. We’ve all dealt with them. We’ve all been frustrated with them. And if our memories were only long enough, we’d realize we all probably used to be them! It looks a little something like this.
Your preschooler doesn’t want to share.
You can’t make it through the grocery store without your kids asking for everything.
There’s a fight every single day over who gets to sit in the front seat.
Your teen insists they deserve the newer, better, upgraded phone with the bigger data plan. Oh, and the latest shoes are desperately needed.
Do they even think, for one minute, of all the stuff you’ve done for them? They have so much—but they won’t give anything! What’s the antidote for ungrateful kids?
Generosity can help! Here are a few (non-financially draining) ways to give your ungrateful kids a good dose of generosity to help it become their first habit—instead of their last. Pick one or two ideas you think will work well for your family.
Do your kids hear you speaking words of gratefulness to your heavenly Father for what you have, and see you giving of yourself, or are you complaining more about the difficult life situations you face, the things you wish you had, or your inability to give?
- Look at your example. What attitude influences your own heart? Do your kids hear you speaking words of gratefulness to your heavenly Father for what you have, and see you giving of yourself, or are you complaining more about the difficult life situations you face, the things you wish you had, or your inability to give? If you recognize your example is primarily ungrateful and selfish, don’t beat yourself up. Meditate on God’s Word, and ask for His help to reframe your mind.
A verse to help: Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires. Psalm 37:4 NLT
- Thank God together. Speaking words of gratefulness are a great first step to building grateful, generous kids. Seek out one time in your day when your family already prays together (like before a meal, on the way to school, or right before bed) or start a time where you have a short-but-sweet prayer time. Let a different family member share with God one thing they’re grateful for each time you pray.
A verse to help: I will praise you, Lᴏʀᴅ, with all my heart; I will tell of all the marvelous things you have done. Psalm 9:1 NLT
- Help your kids see what they can give. Generosity can get tied to giving away possessions and money, but those aren’t the only ways to be generous! Help your kids think through situations they face every day that offer them opportunities to be generous: giving up a spot in line at school, choosing to help someone with chores instead of playing, calling or visiting (not just texting!) a friend who is lonely or sad, praying for someone in need, sending chicken soup or a get well card to someone who is sick, or letting someone else choose which game to play.
A verse to help: … don’t forget to do good and to share with those in need. These are the sacrifices that please God. Hebrews 13:16 NLT
- Set generosity goals and celebrate wins. Once your kids have a good list of ways they can be generous, help your kids set generosity goals for themselves. Maybe your first grader wants to look for a chance to give up their turn to someone else. Maybe your teen wants to turn their phone off for 30 minutes to focus on someone in front of them. Whatever goal they want to pursue, encourage them, follow up to see how it goes, and celebrate their efforts.
A verse to help: … Remind them to be ready to do what is good. Titus 3:1 NIRV
… you can help your kids to be grateful for money in the right way—as a gift from the Lord, and not as something they earned and are entitled to.
- Practice financial generosity. This does not mean you need to start handing out more money to your kids. But you can help your kids to be grateful for money in the right way—as a gift from the Lord, and not as something they earned and are entitled to. Either help your kids to think about the money they already have or include them in your family budgeting. Practice returning the tithe first as an act of obedience and gratefulness, then talk about how giving above that amount is generosity. Ask your kids what ministries, organizations, or individuals they’d like to give money to, and, if finances are available for it, make a plan to do it regularly. If finances aren’t available, help your kids brainstorm ways they can make money (through a garage sale, mowing lawns, raking leaves, babysitting, etc.) so they can give to the causes that are near and dear to their heart.
A verse to help: … You can’t serve God and Money at the same time. Matthew 6:24 NIRV
- Serve and volunteer. Look for holiday events, church volunteer opportunities, or roles in service organizations (such as food banks, meals on wheels, animal shelters, or tutoring programs) that your family can be a part of. Maybe your teen wants to babysit for another family regularly, or your whole family can take a few groceries to an elderly couple once a month. Think about your kids’ gifts, talents, and what they care about as you select volunteer opportunities and make it a regular thing your family does to be generous with their time.
A verse to help: “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’” Matthew 25:40 NIV
Age-Specific Ideas for Ungrateful Kids
Here are some resources for working with your kids to unlock the power of generosity. Each age group also includes some questions you can use to start a conversation about generosity and gratitude in your home.
Show your preschoolers and verbal toddlers how to be generous:
- Start this Bible Plan about the first Christmas gift.
- Show your little ones this video about giving and Christmas.
- As you work through this topic together ask the questions below.
- What are some of your very favorite things?
- What are some things that are really hard to share with others?
- Let your child participate in making something they can give away to others—cookies for neighbors, drawings for grandparents, or a gift for a teacher or small group leader.
Help your elementary kids to grow in gratitude:
- Start this Bible Plan about starving greed.
- Watch this Konnect episode with your child.
- As you work through this topic together ask the questions below at mealtime or when you have some time together.
- What stuff do you hang onto that you could probably get rid of?
- What gifts are you most grateful for receiving?
- Jesus said it was better to give than to receive. Share about a time when you really felt that it was better to give than to receive.
Connect with your preteens about giving:
- Read this Bible Plan about generosity with your preteen.
- Watch this video with Quizman from The Loop Show to test your knowledge on the history of money—and learn how to be generous with it.
- As you work through this topic together ask the questions below at mealtime or when you have some time together.
- What are some ways you can honor God with your money?
- What is some stuff that may have a grip on your heart? What will you do about that?
- What are some ways you can be generous to others without making a big deal out of it?
Practice living a generous life with your teenagers:
- Use the Plans With Friends feature in the YouVersion Bible App to read this Bible Plan with your teen. Or better yet, encourage them to start the plan with some friends.
- Ask your teen if they’ve seen the latest episode of Switch yet. If yes, watch it so you can catch up. If not, watch it together.
- As you work through this topic together ask the questions below at mealtime or when you have some time together.
- What’s one thing I could do as a parent to be a better example of generosity?
- How generous do you think you are? What are some examples that helped you come up with your answer?
- What are some values about generosity you hope you have as an adult? What might that look like at this point in your life?