How to Fix a Broken Marriage with a Little Help from Your Friends - Finds.Life.Church

How to Fix a Broken Marriage with a Little Help from Your Friends

by Kristi Ivey

I am hoping three kinds of people will read this. You might have googled “how to fix a broken marriage” to find this. Believe me, I’ve been in that exact position. Or maybe you’re looking to help your friend who’s hurting from a struggling marriage. Finally, you might be hoping to build strong friendships so that one day, when you need them most, they will be there. I’ve been there, too.

So how do you fix a broken marriage? It would take more than one blog post to answer that. It takes two people willing to lay down pride, choose forgiveness, and fight for one another. But I can also tell you this: it’s a lot easier if you’ve got a little help from your friends. How? First, you and your spouse will need to be honest with your tribe about your marriage struggles. You’ll both need to be vulnerable. You’ll need to accept help and care from your friends. With help from godly friends, you’re not only set up to have a better chance at fixing your broken marriage, but also at fixing a lot of the curveballs life may throw your way. But without supportive friends who will continuously point you both back to each other and back to Christ, all your efforts will feel exponentially more difficult.

This is my entry in a Bible Plan by The Messy Table. I hope my story will help you find hope in Jesus and receive help from your friends today.

The other day, my husband asked me an odd question: “If you had to fall out of a tree, what type of tree would you want it to be?”

“A short one,” I answered quickly, somewhat proud of my own wit. “What about you?” Without missing a beat, he replied, “I’d want to fall out of a cedar tree. The branches of cedars grow closely together and, instead of snapping, they sort of bend, allowing someone to fall without crashing too hard.” He’d clearly thought through his answer.

It might sound silly, but this little analogy was directly comparable to my life just a few short years ago.

There I was, mid-fall, plummeting toward what looked like an excruciating collision. Tears blurred my vision as I sat on the cold ground in a newly acquired apartment on New Year’s Day. The walls were gray, the floors were bare, and the rooms were empty. You could actually feel a winter draft coming in through the window. I was alone—separated from my husband after making a mess of our beautiful marriage.

Little did I know, my branches (my people; aka my village) were already huddled together, softening the blow. They not only rang in the New Year on their knees, praying for God to make a way, but they also fought on the frontlines with us in the battle for our marriage throughout that next year.

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NIV

Because of God’s unending love, as well as the invaluable support of our family and friends, our marriage has been restored. We are living proof that He can resurrect any dead situation, trading beauty for ashes, and restoring what once seemed lost.

Our village has fought countless other battles together over the past decade: infertility struggles, fostering trials, job changes, health complications, parenting challenges, and faith crises—just to name a few. A community of tight-knit friends with the same Christ-rooted beliefs is a lifeline and a true gift during the ups and downs of life. Friends who will pick you up, dust you off, and point you toward the redeeming love of Jesus.