Friends are important, both for us, personally, and for our faith, and these relationships won't happen unless we take the step of reaching out to someone else.
So, being a Christian. Is it just between you and God? Or do other people have something to do with it, too? Are we supposed to talk about our faith with other people? Or open up about what God's doing in our lives? Let's talk about it.
Faith Feels Personal
Faith is personal. It feels so personal. It gets into our hearts, it changes the way we think, it digs up the things we'd prefer to stay buried and it transforms us, from the inside out. What could other people have to do with that process?
During Jesus' time on earth, He spent a solid three years being followed around by His disciples, plus many, many other people. He taught them, but He also lived life with them, sharing meals with them, attending services with them, mourning with them. They were all in community together.
A Picture of Early Christian Community
But that community didn't end after Jesus returned to heaven. Once Jesus had left, Acts 2 says:
"And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved."
This isn't a picture of believers whose faith is only between themselves and Jesus. These believers were practicing their faith together—caring for one another, worshiping together, experiencing God work together, eating together, and so much more. This kind of community is necessary for faith.
Why Community Matters
Jesus and these believers understood something 2,000 years ago that can be hard for us to grasp today, especially if we come from cultures more focused on individuals: We need other people.
Love is central to what it means to follow Jesus, and it's nearly impossible to learn and grow in love if we never open ourselves up to others.
Communities of believers have taken on many forms over the centuries. Monastic communities have been a major force in the church for thousands of years. These groups of men and women not only dedicate themselves to serving God and studying the Bible, but in many situations, to doing so alongside one another.
Congregational communities have provided space for people who work outside of the church to meet together, worship together, and be known by one another. While Christian communities have changed in appearance and practice over the years, our need for other people has never wavered.
So, we need each other. But it can be easy to live life around people—at work, at school, even at church—without ever actually developing a deeper relationship with them.
So how can we make sure that, in spending time with one another, we're actually growing in love and deepening our faith?
Three Practices That Build Real Community
Hospitality
First, hospitality:
Depending on whether you grew up in church and what kind of church you grew up in, when you hear the word "hospitality" you might think, "Oh, right. That thing women are supposed to show when they open up their homes and make food for other people."
But hospitality is so much broader than inviting people over and preparing food, and the practice of it isn't limited to gender.
Hospitality is all about helping the people around you feel safe and welcomed—like Jesus made the people around Him feel. When we love other people and share what we have with them, we embody the same love and generosity that God shows us. Caring for poor people, lost people, and hurting people is of special importance to God, and when we show hospitality, we become more like Him.
Mentoring
Second, mentoring:
Professional mentoring is a well-known practice, and spiritual mentoring, in many ways, looks similar. It's all about two people meeting together, with one person sharing what they've learned with the other, and both people typically growing as a result of the relationship.
Spiritual mentoring, of course, just focuses more on the areas of getting to know God better and living more like Jesus. When you meet with a spiritual mentor, you might talk about growing in areas like prayer, forgiveness, or love.
Service
Third, service:
Are you looking for the fast track to community? Serve people with other people.
In doing so, you end up meeting and investing in the lives of two different groups of people—those you're serving, and those you're serving with. While serving, you're also more likely to meet people whose interests and areas of passion align and intersect with your own.
Finding common interests with other people is one of the best ways of finding friends you can open up to and live life with.
Taking the First Step
For many of us, finding community will always feel a little awkward, especially in the early going. But friends are important, both for us, personally, and for our faith, and these relationships won't happen unless we take the step of reaching out to someone else.
But no matter how difficult it might feel as you're getting started, the results will always be worth it.