Marriage is hard work, but as you may painfully know, pornography makes it even more difficult. As an employee of Covenant Eyes, I hear the heartbreaking stories of people who come to Covenant Eyes looking for healing and restoration. If you find yourself stuck in a cycle of watching pornography, and you just want to stop, there is hope. Jesus did not defeat the power of death only to let sexual addiction destroy marriages! Yes, pornography can ruin marriages, but Jesus is stronger. He can restore you—and your marriage.
5 Behaviors of People Who Live Porn-Free.
Behavior #1: Decide you want to stop.
This sounds obvious, doesn’t it? Don’t underestimate the power of making a strong decision.
Oswald Chambers says we need to make “a complete and effective decision about sin.” In other words, you have to decide you really want to stop. You need that I’m-sick-and-tired-of-it, gut-wrenching, eyes-filled-with-tears, fist-pounding decision to do whatever it takes to quit porn. The power of our complete and effective, daily, outspoken decisions cannot be underestimated.
Chambers goes on to say, “It takes a long time to come to the point of making this complete and effective decision about sin. It is, however, the greatest moment in your life once you decide that sin must die in you—not simply be restrained, suppressed, or counteracted, but crucified—just as Jesus Christ died for the sin of the world. No one can bring anyone else to this decision. Pull yourself up, take some time alone with God, and make this important decision …”
Behavior #2: Visualize “later.”
In the midst of any struggle, we often become focused on the now, and we forget about the later. It’s worth asking the question, “What’s the absolute worst thing that would happen to me if I don’t change?” For example, if you’re engaged, “What if my future wife catches me using porn?” Or, imagine the future as a father addicted to pornography, “What if my daughter caught me using porn?” Visualizing “later” doesn’t solve the problem, but it may motivate you to take the necessary steps to move away from pornography.
Behavior #3: Get brutally honest with people.
Nothing we keep in secret does us any good. One-on-one, the enemy often wins. Especially when it comes to sexual temptation.
The thought of sharing your past sexual struggles with anyone may seem terrifying. In fact, your spiritual enemy wants nothing more than for you to keep on believing you’ve “got this.” The truth is, you’ll continue to fail unless you invite a team of trusted friends into your healing.
Find one man or one woman who’ll become your mentor or accountability partner. This person is someone who loves God and understands you.
Behavior #4: Close the open doors.
What are you using to access pornography? Is it your iPhone? What about the Xbox? Whatever device you’re using, then either close the door completely by removing access or, if for some reason you need to keep access, utilize an accountability service to send a report of your internet usage to your trusted friends.
Behavior #5: Pray.
If you’re fighting to quit pornography, then you know it’s a war. When you choose to fight your porn addiction, it will fight you back.
Imagine the prayers of soldiers going into battle. Maybe you don’t have to imagine. They pray for protection, strength, and survival. Does this describe your prayer life? It’s time to pray like these young men. Pray like victory is imminent. Because you have victory in Christ. If God is for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8:31)
Porn can ruin marriages, but there’s hope. If you agree life without porn is a better life and want to take your first step toward living porn-free, start Overcome Porn: The 40-Day Challenge Bible Plan. Don’t wait another day! You can take your first step to living a porn-free life today.