How I Let Go of Control When I Had No Job, No Money, and No Prospects - Finds.Life.Church

How I Let Go of Control When I Had No Job, No Money, and No Prospects

by Kaelyn Page

Do you have a dream college, dream job, dream house, or just a dream in general? Do you have expectations for how that dream will play out? Does it stress you out when that plan doesn’t happen the way you wanted it to? Like—you just can’t let go of control? I understand that completely. I got the opportunity to step into my dream job as an intern at my church, and I had so many expectations and goals for what was to come. I have the kind of personality that loves to plan, be in the details, and know every step well beforehand. But I’ve learned there’s so much freedom in letting go of control. When I let go, I’m allowing God to take control.

Throughout my internship and the time that followed, God taught me a lot about my desire to hold on tightly to my plans for my life. He showed me it’s much more important to be obedient than to be in control—and He showed me how to let go. I learned that I needed to make the decision to let go of control in the midst of confusion and chaos. Which is exactly when most of us want control more than ever!

My time in my internship flew by. It was an incredible experience, but I had no idea what was next. I kept asking God what was I should do (sometimes telling Him). It seemed like He kept answering, but His answer didn’t make sense to me or align with what I expected. So, I assumed I wasn’t hearing right.

I was losing control of what I wanted. God wasn’t following my life plan!

My situation reminds me of Jesus’ mom. Can you imagine? Mary didn’t get to decide to be an unmarried pregnant teen. She wasn’t able to decide how her soon-to-be husband would respond knowing he wasn’t the biological father. She couldn’t control the opinions of others, and I’m sure there were opinions.

Finally, I decided to let go of the grip I never really had on my future and hold my plans in open hands to God. Kind of like Mary, I decided to say, “Let it be done to me what You say is best.”

I shouldn’t have been surprised, but God didn’t change His answer to match my answer. He continued to lead me to move to a new city where I had no job, no family, no leads, and no place to live.

Mary and Joseph made a similar journey to Egypt, except they were running to protect the life of their child, who happened also to be God’s only Son.

I was so confused, but I just started taking steps to obey. Again, I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I found a place to live, roommates, a job, and I’m a volunteer leader at church.

Whether it’s location, career, finances, parenting, relationships, or even hobbies I enjoy—as long as I’m in full control, the pieces never seem to fall into place quite right.

I can keep turning and flipping and trying to cram the puzzle pieces of my life into my chosen spots, but they just won’t fit. God, on the other hand, has the best view of the puzzle. I’m trusting Him with the pieces from now on. Let it be.

Consider: What’s something you’re holding with a tight fist? What’s something that’d be scary to lose? What’s a part of your life where God’s answers don’t make sense to you? What’s the first step you can take to help you let go of control?